Due to circumstances beyond our control, this will be our last post from us ranting librarians. We thank all of you for reading and hope that you enjoyed our funky stories and over obnoxious stories.
If you enjoy our stories, please check out my friends HERE.
Sincerely,
The Ranting Librarians
Phantom Patron
So there is a glitch in our computer software that I have been trying to rip out. (Most, if not all public libraries now use an automation system to allow a much easier access to books, reservations, and patron information (that's for us).) Unfortunately this phantom patron card is very sneaky. It seems that every time we try to check out a book to someone that has a zero in the mix of the number wants to automatically slip to this phantom patron.
Strangely enough someone has this card and I have little clue how in the world that is possible. But it seems that almost once a week it is used, and with consistence.
So I have little choice... good bye phantom patron... I'll miss ya'.
....DELETE BUTTON...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Strangely enough someone has this card and I have little clue how in the world that is possible. But it seems that almost once a week it is used, and with consistence.
So I have little choice... good bye phantom patron... I'll miss ya'.
....DELETE BUTTON...
Sincerely,
Rock Bottom Boredom
When you have nothing to do... what do you do?
I've been stratigically trying to figure out ways of trying to stave off boredom while making it look like I'm working. I've only come up with a few ideas.
1. Write on this blog. (HAHAHA!!)
2. Sleep with my eyes open.
3. Read a book and call it research.
4. Run around the library screaming FIRE!!!
Looking at the list, the last one is looking the most tempting... *evil grin*... be right back...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
I've been stratigically trying to figure out ways of trying to stave off boredom while making it look like I'm working. I've only come up with a few ideas.
1. Write on this blog. (HAHAHA!!)
2. Sleep with my eyes open.
3. Read a book and call it research.
4. Run around the library screaming FIRE!!!
Looking at the list, the last one is looking the most tempting... *evil grin*... be right back...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
The Fisherman
Yesterday I'm sitting here at my desk trying to stay awake {or actually trying to take a nap without anyone knowing) and in walks this guy. Now I didn't notice him but boy could I smell him. I thought I would look up and see a pile of raw fish as high as the desk. No doubt about what he had been doing before coming to the library. Now the burning question was how long could I hold my breath before passing out or would I just throw up. I'm happy to report I can hold my breath much longer then I ever dreamed possible. Please think about what you do before coming to the library. After all you really don't want us to pass out from holding your breath much less can you see me explaining why I was throwing up.
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
The Book Fair
This is one of the most frightening time in a librarians life. It is the dreaded Scholastic's Book Fair. Now being the small insignificant library we are, having a book fair is explosive to us. Now unfortunately for me, I am the main dudette that has to take care of it. Dear lord save me!!!
This is a first for me, and if you don't know what you're doing, you kind of become the lost little puppy, leading little lost puppies. Now the interesting fact is, we only HOST the book fair, we do not own the books. (Though there are quite a few books I wouldn't mind owning. ^_^) So we have the fun time of making sure no one steals a book, or thinks they can simply check it out. It is especially fun making sure no kids decide to draw in them.
These fairs are only provided through schools or libraries, non-profit organizations and the like. They are fun, but at the same time we do fear the cloud of children that descend upon us.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
This is a first for me, and if you don't know what you're doing, you kind of become the lost little puppy, leading little lost puppies. Now the interesting fact is, we only HOST the book fair, we do not own the books. (Though there are quite a few books I wouldn't mind owning. ^_^) So we have the fun time of making sure no one steals a book, or thinks they can simply check it out. It is especially fun making sure no kids decide to draw in them.
These fairs are only provided through schools or libraries, non-profit organizations and the like. They are fun, but at the same time we do fear the cloud of children that descend upon us.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Morphine
So having been sick for a week with a freak headache has left me out of work and a bit rusty. I mean I can barely type it's crazy!!! Our poor new director is completely lost and thankful that I'm back. I'm glad to be back though I'm still not in my (right) mind.
If my day could be more of a dud, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry to all the patrons that are having to deal with my craziness today. (Especially Ms. C, I'm sorry I didn't get that book for you!!!) I've been warning my poor assistants and director that I'm on morphine. Yes, that all powerful drug and am feeling a bit of the dizzy, let's take a nap side of life.
I'm just hoping by next week I'll be back up to speed. So this is to all of your, "Thanks for being so patient with me!!!"
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
If my day could be more of a dud, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry to all the patrons that are having to deal with my craziness today. (Especially Ms. C, I'm sorry I didn't get that book for you!!!) I've been warning my poor assistants and director that I'm on morphine. Yes, that all powerful drug and am feeling a bit of the dizzy, let's take a nap side of life.
I'm just hoping by next week I'll be back up to speed. So this is to all of your, "Thanks for being so patient with me!!!"
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
And The Coat is Off
I'm soo relieved the new director is here!!! I can't tell you how it truly feels like the coat is finally coming off. No more responsibility other than taking care of the volunteers and reading books. I'd almost forgotten how good it felt!
But I do have to say I am a little sorry for the new director. Everyday a million calls come in, all asking for me and now I'm having to turn them over to her and she's already swamped with too much work. Awe, boy do I remember those days. And unlike her 40 year experience, I only had a years experience working in a library. Look how I turned out... *twitch, twitch*...
So now the fun begins in teaching her all about what it means to be a PUBLIC librarian, and not a SCHOOL librarian. I got to say for this poor woman she's doing good. Her desk is a mess(my only complaint), but she isn't the obsessive compulsive organizer I am . So congrats to you new librarian... I take my hat off to ya'.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
But I do have to say I am a little sorry for the new director. Everyday a million calls come in, all asking for me and now I'm having to turn them over to her and she's already swamped with too much work. Awe, boy do I remember those days. And unlike her 40 year experience, I only had a years experience working in a library. Look how I turned out... *twitch, twitch*...
So now the fun begins in teaching her all about what it means to be a PUBLIC librarian, and not a SCHOOL librarian. I got to say for this poor woman she's doing good. Her desk is a mess(my only complaint), but she isn't the obsessive compulsive organizer I am . So congrats to you new librarian... I take my hat off to ya'.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
New Director
Finally!!!! After almost ten months of running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, I can finally be relieved with our new director now situated at her desk. Sure I've gotten used to being the director, but do I want it?
N!!! O!!!! NNNNOOOO!!!!
I am happily becoming the new Assistant Librarian, meaning most of the time I spend my time reading books, taking care of the websites, and making sure we have plenty to do with books. Though there are some things I'll miss, I'm just glad I don't have to take full responsibility for the library and the ever explosive state it is in.
So CONGRATS new director, have fun and I'll be seeing you around! Hey, who knows we might be adding a new voice to this not so crowded blog.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
N!!! O!!!! NNNNOOOO!!!!
I am happily becoming the new Assistant Librarian, meaning most of the time I spend my time reading books, taking care of the websites, and making sure we have plenty to do with books. Though there are some things I'll miss, I'm just glad I don't have to take full responsibility for the library and the ever explosive state it is in.
So CONGRATS new director, have fun and I'll be seeing you around! Hey, who knows we might be adding a new voice to this not so crowded blog.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Understanding ILL
Okay, here's a little informative information for all you patrons out there reading this blog. Though your library might not have the book you are looking for they can get it for you, through a system called ILL. (Inner library Loan). For every library in the U.S. of A. there is this. As long as they are part of a State Database and World CAT, they can. (I might explain those later.) Simply put, we can get the book on loan from another library. It's a pretty neat system when it comes down to it.
This happens a lot in our library since we are a small library and can't afford to be a literal archive like say 'The Library of Congress.' So this is what happened a week ago when a patron wanted a book we didn't have and got all huffy about it. I told about the ILL system and she excepted it. Today, book comes in, and patron comes in. This is where it gets funny. As a service we ask that the patron pay postage for the book because we can't afford to pay for them.
Well our ILL patron didn't like that very much and said, 'I ain't going to pay that!"
Now what's hilarious is that it's the library rate in mailing postage, meaning about two dollars cheaper then normal. Still she said she wouldn't pay and then I said, "Then we will have to send the book back."
*evil I know*
This got her all quiet and then she pulled out her wallet and shelled out the two dollars is cost. I almost busted out laughing. It was almost like I had to hold the book hostage before she would pay!!!
*give me the money or the book dies!!!!*
Sorry, couldn't help that... hahahaha...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
This happens a lot in our library since we are a small library and can't afford to be a literal archive like say 'The Library of Congress.' So this is what happened a week ago when a patron wanted a book we didn't have and got all huffy about it. I told about the ILL system and she excepted it. Today, book comes in, and patron comes in. This is where it gets funny. As a service we ask that the patron pay postage for the book because we can't afford to pay for them.
Well our ILL patron didn't like that very much and said, 'I ain't going to pay that!"
Now what's hilarious is that it's the library rate in mailing postage, meaning about two dollars cheaper then normal. Still she said she wouldn't pay and then I said, "Then we will have to send the book back."
*evil I know*
This got her all quiet and then she pulled out her wallet and shelled out the two dollars is cost. I almost busted out laughing. It was almost like I had to hold the book hostage before she would pay!!!
*give me the money or the book dies!!!!*
Sorry, couldn't help that... hahahaha...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
The Obsessive Readers
Like so many librarians out there we have to deal with those few... wait... maybe not so few patrons that think the library is THEIRS. (OK, maybe it's true, but we work, live, and breath here people) So they generally make a nuisance of themselves by coming directly in to my office and ask for specific books that just came out TODAY. Unfortunately even if I ordered the book three months ago, we don't get them on the day they come out to retailers. (We have extra processing to do.)
So what happens with those over obsessive, over possessive patrons. They leave my office fuming. (What a happy day for me!)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
So what happens with those over obsessive, over possessive patrons. They leave my office fuming. (What a happy day for me!)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
We Are Our Worst Enemy
People just never cease to amaze me! I mean, sometimes I even amaze myself! This very morning I'm sitting here at my desk after having assisted this patron search out some books, right? Then I take the time to "Thank God" for today and to grant me patience with other people 'cause they can be down right obnoxious at times. Then again, maybe 'obnoxious' isn't the word to describe this guy! See what you think: When I asked him how he's doing, he says "I guess I'm doing alright"(digging in his nose), "but I'm a little disappointed right now 'cause I went to see 'bout this job, and they gon' tell me to come back later"(They had to mean NEVER!) Anyhow, I assigned him a computer and as he's turning to leave, I see his butt. I mean he's wearing the waist of his pants half-way down his thighs. I don't mean to rag on this guy, but I can't understand why he felt put off by the employer!!!
Downright Disgusted,
The Fun Crafter
Downright Disgusted,
The Fun Crafter
Computer or No Computer... THAT is the question.
So this is what happened to me yesterday...
Woman comes in ten minutes before opening, I'm the only one there, trying to finish a grant before anyone comes in. It looked like it wasn't going to happen...
Anyhoo, she says, "My what a beautiful library!"
"Thanks."
"I would like to use one of your computers today, but I just moved here and need a library card."
So I proceed to hand her our sign up sheet and ask for her drivers license and she does into a shipl about how someone broke into her car and stole her wallet. (Uh, I hope her identity doesn't get stolen.) Anyway, I provide her with a new card and check out a computer to her, hand her the tab and tell her the computer number.
She looks at me really funny and then says, "I don't want a computer today."
Uh... didn't she just say she wanted to use a computer? Make up your mind please...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Woman comes in ten minutes before opening, I'm the only one there, trying to finish a grant before anyone comes in. It looked like it wasn't going to happen...
Anyhoo, she says, "My what a beautiful library!"
"Thanks."
"I would like to use one of your computers today, but I just moved here and need a library card."
So I proceed to hand her our sign up sheet and ask for her drivers license and she does into a shipl about how someone broke into her car and stole her wallet. (Uh, I hope her identity doesn't get stolen.) Anyway, I provide her with a new card and check out a computer to her, hand her the tab and tell her the computer number.
She looks at me really funny and then says, "I don't want a computer today."
Uh... didn't she just say she wanted to use a computer? Make up your mind please...
Sincerely,
Tuesday Is Really Monday
Don't you just love those long weekends off? Well, so do I. I have Mondays off, though, so when I get to work on Tuesday, it takes me most of the morning to convince myself that my week begins today--Tuesday. That being said, there are so many unnecessary things going on for the patrons, as well. For instance, I have to take a lot of them back to Day One: no loud talking, turn off your cell phones and lately "Please go to your assigned computer--not the one which places you next to a friend!" Come on now!!!
Then, in "rolls" this patron (in a wheel chair) who, incidentally used to be my next door neighbor and he's asking for all these different books--like 'how to repair tricycles' even. I'm busy trying to accommodate him when he says "I'm just fooling with you! Don't look at me like that; you make me wish I was able to run again! "
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Then, in "rolls" this patron (in a wheel chair) who, incidentally used to be my next door neighbor and he's asking for all these different books--like 'how to repair tricycles' even. I'm busy trying to accommodate him when he says "I'm just fooling with you! Don't look at me like that; you make me wish I was able to run again! "
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Let the Game's Begin
The summer is one of our most physically demanding months, and why is that you ask? Well let's see if I can put in into one word...
...children...
During our summer months we provide children programs called Summer Reading Programs through different State Library Sites.
So what does this mean for us librarians who already have a busy and/or hectic schedule. It means we have to tank up on at least three cups of coffee, two sodas, two Mountain Dew, and maybe a little Gatorade on the side. I ain't kidding people, having to chase down twenty kids during a program is not easy. For all of you parents out there, you know what I'm talking about, now just imagine more then the national average 2.4 per family.
Parents PLEASE don't leave us alone with your children. (children scare us librarians) Yes we love them for our programs, but having to chase them before they leave the building isn't an easy task when there's just three of us around. So from this point on, parents if you do leave you children alone with us, this is what will most likely be given to them.
1.) Red Bull.
2.) High sugar content candy.
Let's just call it payback for all the librarians who go through harassment from your center-of-the-world child, and may you enjoy the bounce-off-the-wall children we send back to you.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, *evil grinning* Exhausted Librarian
...children...
During our summer months we provide children programs called Summer Reading Programs through different State Library Sites.
So what does this mean for us librarians who already have a busy and/or hectic schedule. It means we have to tank up on at least three cups of coffee, two sodas, two Mountain Dew, and maybe a little Gatorade on the side. I ain't kidding people, having to chase down twenty kids during a program is not easy. For all of you parents out there, you know what I'm talking about, now just imagine more then the national average 2.4 per family.
Parents PLEASE don't leave us alone with your children. (children scare us librarians) Yes we love them for our programs, but having to chase them before they leave the building isn't an easy task when there's just three of us around. So from this point on, parents if you do leave you children alone with us, this is what will most likely be given to them.
1.) Red Bull.
2.) High sugar content candy.
Let's just call it payback for all the librarians who go through harassment from your center-of-the-world child, and may you enjoy the bounce-off-the-wall children we send back to you.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, *evil grinning* Exhausted Librarian
Exhaustion
Goodness, it's been crazy around here!!! There are a million things I've been trying to get done all day and yet there isn't enough time. I feel like a parent and the library is my baby right now!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!
For us librarians being able to multitask is very important. (It's probably why there aren't many guys in this field, they can only do one thing at a time *that's scientific fact people!*.) If you can't multitask then you couldn't do this job. At this moment, I'm doing three things:
1. and most obviously writing on this blog.
2. Writing a news article for the local paper. (Yes librarians do that too.)
3. Revising a grant (for the umptenth time!)
oh and my assistant just came in with two more things I need to do...
4. Giving her something to do.
and 5. Helping a college student learn how to use Microsoft WORD.
Oh my dear lord, help me!!!! So if you ever wonder why we are so scatterbrained at times, this is the answer. Well, got to go!!! Thank you, and good night.
Sincerely,
For us librarians being able to multitask is very important. (It's probably why there aren't many guys in this field, they can only do one thing at a time *that's scientific fact people!*.) If you can't multitask then you couldn't do this job. At this moment, I'm doing three things:
1. and most obviously writing on this blog.
2. Writing a news article for the local paper. (Yes librarians do that too.)
3. Revising a grant (for the umptenth time!)
oh and my assistant just came in with two more things I need to do...
4. Giving her something to do.
and 5. Helping a college student learn how to use Microsoft WORD.
Oh my dear lord, help me!!!! So if you ever wonder why we are so scatterbrained at times, this is the answer. Well, got to go!!! Thank you, and good night.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian.
The Help
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
Happy B'Day To Me
I'm at work, of course. Why take off anyhow when there's not a lot to do during work hours!??? It's just a birthday they say. So here I am. Now, check this out -- my precious granddaughters gave me this pretty green blouse for today's occasion. Bless their little hearts, but it's been a pain all day long. It keeps falling off my shoulders & exposing my under-gear. How embarrassing for me!!! I keep pulling & tucking and pulling & tucking some more. That's how it's been for me all birthday-day long. I gotta go now, pull off my birthday present, get in my birthday suit & go to bed!!!
See ya,
The Fun Crafter
See ya,
The Fun Crafter
Havoc!!!!
What happens when none of your assistants come in on what we consider our Mondays?
Only one word... HAVOC.
If you can imagine being at Wal-Mart with only one cashier, imagine your the cashier. Well, for a librarian that's what it's like when you are alone working at a library. People are streaming in wanting computers, books, reference help, and oh-my-word, complaining about how slow the service is. *screaming*
So what do I do? Well the only thing any sensible person would do... okay maybe not so sensible thing... RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
If you think a librarians job is easy, try being alone in a library doing everything we have to do for a day. Yeah, I didn't think so. So here I am running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get computers working faster, help patrons, check out books, get on the phone, order books, and well... pretty much doing as much multi-tasking as I possibly can do in the short time I have before I say, 'UNCLE!!!!'
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Only one word... HAVOC.
If you can imagine being at Wal-Mart with only one cashier, imagine your the cashier. Well, for a librarian that's what it's like when you are alone working at a library. People are streaming in wanting computers, books, reference help, and oh-my-word, complaining about how slow the service is. *screaming*
So what do I do? Well the only thing any sensible person would do... okay maybe not so sensible thing... RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
If you think a librarians job is easy, try being alone in a library doing everything we have to do for a day. Yeah, I didn't think so. So here I am running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get computers working faster, help patrons, check out books, get on the phone, order books, and well... pretty much doing as much multi-tasking as I possibly can do in the short time I have before I say, 'UNCLE!!!!'
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Not A Good Day
This has got to be the longest day I've ever had at the library. You'd think after the events of this morning that things were going to be pretty hectic around here. We opened up this morning doing all the usual things to prepare for our day. In comes our first patron with a library card that's as old as he is. While he's getting another one, I'm on the computer putting him in our system when he starts plotting all sorts of doom concerning computers and their worth--like how we are going to regret ever having them introduced into today's society, that they are going to be the world's ruin! " Even the President's going to suffer", he says because these things are going to literally blow up in our faces and "what are we going to do to retrieve all this valuable information?" He says these computers have made people in the world too lax & lazy. "You mark my words, young lady", he says, "it's gonna be a bad time, when all these things blow!" Then, he goes in and starts on my poor boss!!! We kept looking in on her 'cause she looked like she needed to be rescued from this man of doom. Finally, we faked a phone call for her and got rid of him! From then on, this day just reeked -- the BLAHS just took over and never left. Oh, well..............
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Go Juice
We all need Java and librarians are no different. Though we do sit quite a bit, the truth of the matter is only 50% of our job is sitting. The other half we are running around, doing things that you can only mysteriously imagine. (Though you don't see this while staring at our public computer screens *drooling I might add*.)
So when the half way marker comes for our eight to ten hour days, we are starting to feel our power cells draining. And there is only one way to recharge. That's right! The only legal drug (stimulus) in our great world, COFFEEE!!!!
Like all librarians we do have to have our healthy dose of (one to six) cups of coffee to make it through the rest of the day so that we can deal with the... *clearing throat* patrons and naggers, and complainers, and stinkers, and children running around screaming their lungs out.
So if you ever come into the library and the librarians is a little talkative *or twitchy* there are two reasons:
1. Overload on caffine.
Or...
2. Nervous breakdown because of _______________ (Just pick a topic.)
So have faith in the ever wonderful *heavenly spot light* COFFEE!!! *heavens choirs singing.*, and the librarians that consume without thought. ^_^
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, (not-so) Exhausted Librarian
So when the half way marker comes for our eight to ten hour days, we are starting to feel our power cells draining. And there is only one way to recharge. That's right! The only legal drug (stimulus) in our great world, COFFEEE!!!!
Like all librarians we do have to have our healthy dose of (one to six) cups of coffee to make it through the rest of the day so that we can deal with the... *clearing throat* patrons and naggers, and complainers, and stinkers, and children running around screaming their lungs out.
So if you ever come into the library and the librarians is a little talkative *or twitchy* there are two reasons:
1. Overload on caffine.
Or...
2. Nervous breakdown because of _______________ (Just pick a topic.)
So have faith in the ever wonderful *heavenly spot light* COFFEE!!! *heavens choirs singing.*, and the librarians that consume without thought. ^_^
Sincerely,
The Best Coffee Ever
There's one huge perk to working here. My boss makes the best coffee ever!!! Before I came to work here coffee was for the morning only but now my face lites up when she offers to make coffee in the afternoon. There's just one big problem I have to stop at one cup or I can forget sleep in the upcoming night and boy is it hard to stop. Now if only I could get her to make my coffee at home I would have it made. Sometimes you just don't know what the perks of a job may be till you start.
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
This library has something offensive to everyone. If you are not offended by something we have, please complain. -- Dorothy Broderick, Contemporary American Writer.
So why the title. I guess because we've been having a problem with people talking about a lot of our Young Adult books, especially our Gossip Girl series, and our Urban series. So what is the problem, again just like my 'Guardian' Post before, censorship is just as prevalent today as it was some ninety years ago.
Don't believe me, then check THIS out.
That's not all, and I can't tell you enough, how if you want your kids, NOT TO READ IT, then check it out yourself first. If you don't like it return it to the library. We are more then willing to take it off your hands, we deal with more Human Rights movements then you can imagine to provide that some of the best and greatest writers are kept on your shelves.
Have you ever read Fahrenheit 451? Well, it might be high time you did. It gives you an idea of what society would be like without controversial books. (Like the Bible people!)
Even John F. Kennedy was quoted saying, "Let there be controversial books, and controversial authors."
Famous people know the meaning of censoring books:
Librarians are very special people. They are the caregivers of the world of the mind, the nurturers of dreams and the defenders of truth. Perhaps no other profession is so marked by the singular generosity of its practitioners." -- Denver Post editorial, March 25, 2000
Librarians are at the heart of opposition to foolish, dangerous, misguided attempts at censoring human expression in our free country. I thank God for their efforts."
-- Author Clyde Edgerton
So now that my rant is almost over, remember next time you come in and say a book shouldn't be on the shelf because of it's content, expect a fight
Sincerely,
(Battle Ready) Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Don't believe me, then check THIS out.
That's not all, and I can't tell you enough, how if you want your kids, NOT TO READ IT, then check it out yourself first. If you don't like it return it to the library. We are more then willing to take it off your hands, we deal with more Human Rights movements then you can imagine to provide that some of the best and greatest writers are kept on your shelves.
Even John F. Kennedy was quoted saying, "Let there be controversial books, and controversial authors."
Famous people know the meaning of censoring books:
Librarians are very special people. They are the caregivers of the world of the mind, the nurturers of dreams and the defenders of truth. Perhaps no other profession is so marked by the singular generosity of its practitioners." -- Denver Post editorial, March 25, 2000
Librarians are at the heart of opposition to foolish, dangerous, misguided attempts at censoring human expression in our free country. I thank God for their efforts."
-- Author Clyde Edgerton
So now that my rant is almost over, remember next time you come in and say a book shouldn't be on the shelf because of it's content, expect a fight
Sincerely,
(Battle Ready) Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Computers VS Librarians
Okay I'm sick and tired of slow computers. Did you know that the U.S. ranked third in internet speed! UGH!!!! I can't stand it when I'm at the front desk, trying to check out a book or computer to a patron and they are just STARING at me. (Don't they know it's rude to stare.)
Or they will huff and ask why it's taking so long. All I can do is say, "It ain't my fault, this computer is slow."
Then they ask, "Can't you make it go any faster?"
Uh hello, I've been trying for the past three minutes you've been standing up here. Is there any way I could take a shot gun to it... I don't think it would work, but boy would it make me feel better.(Please let the techie come back to me soon!!!)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Or they will huff and ask why it's taking so long. All I can do is say, "It ain't my fault, this computer is slow."
Then they ask, "Can't you make it go any faster?"
Uh hello, I've been trying for the past three minutes you've been standing up here. Is there any way I could take a shot gun to it... I don't think it would work, but boy would it make me feel better.(Please let the techie come back to me soon!!!)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
We Are the Guardians
Interesting title I know, but lately I've been going through this stage of thinking about all the good things a library is there for. For those of you out there that think a library is the heart of the community, then I congratulate you. There are a lot of things people don't know about libraries that I think should be shared,even about us librarians ourselves. (However we might look, be it granny style, or hip hotties.)
So why the title 'We Are the Guardians', because we truly are guardians. Not even three hundred years ago people burned books and called anyone that tried to learn to read the tongue of any book, including the Bible were burned at the stake as heretics. It took brave people to provide even the basic knowledge to the masses. The only ones to safely preserve material from Kings were monks, and monasteries.
Only a hundred and thirty years ago, in 1880, it wasn't even thought of to have a library in small towns. If it hadn't been for Melvil Dewie, and his simple idea of getting knowledge out to small communities and not just to the rich did it come possible for everyday people to learn to read.
Not even a hundred years ago, in 1933, Hitler campaigned to have all the books in Germany burned. Some 100,000 books were destroyed in one evening in Opernplatz where 40,000 people came to support it. Some of the oldest manuscripts found in human history burned that day, because people believed it wrong for 'Un-German' books to reside in the halls of their libraries. Not just that but even the librarians that tried to protect those books and many other pieces of literature were killed or imprisoned. All because of censorship or ruler-ship.
So the next time you walk into a library, look at the librarian a little different. When you are simply walking through the stacks (as we call them), looking for that one book that has stuck in your mind for some time, remember why we are here. We are the guardians of knowledge, insuring the simplistic censorship of books doesn't become the norm, and that those books aren't lost to the up-and-coming generations.
We are the Guardians, and we intend to protect knowledge... that is our pledge when we sit down to that desk in the morning ready to serve to you that knowledge.
(So maybe give us a salute or something, we kind of deserve it when you think about it.)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
So why the title 'We Are the Guardians', because we truly are guardians. Not even three hundred years ago people burned books and called anyone that tried to learn to read the tongue of any book, including the Bible were burned at the stake as heretics. It took brave people to provide even the basic knowledge to the masses. The only ones to safely preserve material from Kings were monks, and monasteries.
Only a hundred and thirty years ago, in 1880, it wasn't even thought of to have a library in small towns. If it hadn't been for Melvil Dewie, and his simple idea of getting knowledge out to small communities and not just to the rich did it come possible for everyday people to learn to read.
Not even a hundred years ago, in 1933, Hitler campaigned to have all the books in Germany burned. Some 100,000 books were destroyed in one evening in Opernplatz where 40,000 people came to support it. Some of the oldest manuscripts found in human history burned that day, because people believed it wrong for 'Un-German' books to reside in the halls of their libraries. Not just that but even the librarians that tried to protect those books and many other pieces of literature were killed or imprisoned. All because of censorship or ruler-ship.
So the next time you walk into a library, look at the librarian a little different. When you are simply walking through the stacks (as we call them), looking for that one book that has stuck in your mind for some time, remember why we are here. We are the guardians of knowledge, insuring the simplistic censorship of books doesn't become the norm, and that those books aren't lost to the up-and-coming generations.
We are the Guardians, and we intend to protect knowledge... that is our pledge when we sit down to that desk in the morning ready to serve to you that knowledge.
(So maybe give us a salute or something, we kind of deserve it when you think about it.)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Aaah Choo, Aaah Choo, Aaah Choo
For a Wednesday morning, the wheels are turning pretty fast already. All the computers are full-- except one. Then he walks in! (I've nicknamed him Aaah Choo) The guy has really bad allergies which is not his fault, I'm sure , but he's sneezing all over the place when he arrives. He's all teary-eyed and full of apologies. You gotta love him 'cause, unlike most young guys his age, he is very polite and courteous. I have to give up the computer to him. The poor guy's trying so hard not to disturb other patrons that he's running to the men's room constantly. You can hear him blowing his foghorn in there. He comes out this one time and catches these girls snickering, but he's not angry. He just smiles and says to them "Thanks, you make me feel so much better!" He went on back to the computer, leaving them looking so small-- Aaah Choo, Aaah Choo, Aaah hoo!!!
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Anti-typical
Nowadays libraries have become quite a social hub, and today is a day to talk about that. Unlike ranting all the time, I thought it would be pretty cool if I gave you real life data on the libraries today. It isn't unusual to have people asking if we have Wi-Fi (which we do, but can't get the stupid password to unlock it.) and other things, like our Summer Reading Program, book clubs, and such.
So here are some interesting sites:
News Article on: Public Librarys
And Library Stats at: ICMA
So with that in mind, remember libraries aren't the anti-typical quite place they once were, (though we do like some silence now and again) it is a community based on the people that come. So visit your local library, be a part of something that could end up being pretty neat.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
So here are some interesting sites:
News Article on: Public Librarys
And Library Stats at: ICMA
So with that in mind, remember libraries aren't the anti-typical quite place they once were, (though we do like some silence now and again) it is a community based on the people that come. So visit your local library, be a part of something that could end up being pretty neat.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
The Giggle and Drool Factor
Alright, to put it simply, in our library the women are employed. So what happens when a bunch of very cute guys come into the library?
I give you two guesses.
I think you got it. We first look with shock, then giggle, and finally get back to work. (I'm kind of sorry for the guys. I can't help it! YOUR JUST SO HOT!!!) We must look like complete nutcases to them. But alas we must keep our game faces on. That is what being a librarian is all about. (Though we are still girls here!)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
I give you two guesses.
I think you got it. We first look with shock, then giggle, and finally get back to work. (I'm kind of sorry for the guys. I can't help it! YOUR JUST SO HOT!!!) We must look like complete nutcases to them. But alas we must keep our game faces on. That is what being a librarian is all about. (Though we are still girls here!)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
I Love My Job
Today is one of those days that I had envisioned when I came to work at the library. Everything is going along smoothly. We're busy but not swamped. No one has complained about anything yet. The books feel like a haven from the outside world. My only regret is that I will never be able to read them all. I JUST LOVE MY JOB!!!!!
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
Loud Peckiing
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| Our Loud Typist |
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
The Wrong Timing
The story of my life. Never in the right place at the right time. I came in today and was told about this good looking guy in uniform who came in this morning The girls still couldn't catch their breath. From what I hear he was real eye candy and where was I? Out on the lawnmower cutting my grass. Why is my timing always off? Darn! Stupid grass.
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
How Fast Can You Go?
As a librarian (and people's misconceptions of us) they think we sit around all day reading. (If only that were the truth I'd have that job!) Unfortunately, that isn't the case. Today for example is just plan old hectic. First off, the Census Bureau is using our conference room for training and thus we have a million people here using our computers. Then we have our regulars, (and not so regulars).
Suddenly we have a Naval officer come in to give interviews. (Wait... WHAT?! WHEN DID I AUTHORIZE THAT!!!!!) So we are running from one place to another, the office, the childrens' room, front desk, computer area, book shelves. It's like running a marathon around here!
If there were even a possibility of sitting and relaxing it would be hilarious. I mean I'm writing this on the go, two minutes and then back to work. AAAAHHHH!!! Here comes more patrons!!!
Got to go...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Suddenly we have a Naval officer come in to give interviews. (Wait... WHAT?! WHEN DID I AUTHORIZE THAT!!!!!) So we are running from one place to another, the office, the childrens' room, front desk, computer area, book shelves. It's like running a marathon around here!
If there were even a possibility of sitting and relaxing it would be hilarious. I mean I'm writing this on the go, two minutes and then back to work. AAAAHHHH!!! Here comes more patrons!!!
Got to go...
Sincerely,
Waiting To Exhale
I rush in to work and I'm out of breath because, as usual, I've had to either walk or swing a ride at the last minute. (I'm asthmatic, you see.) I get here and the place is really jumping! We've got meetings going on, people checking out books, books to be checked in-- the usual stuff. Then BAM!!! I spot this really fine gentleman (in military attire, my favorite) conducting interviews not far away from me... Well, I'm not breathing quite normally yet. Gotta go; gotta catch my breath!!!
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Nap Time
I have discovered a problem with the hours I work. Two days I don't come to work until 1:30pm so I spend those mornings working in my yard. So by the time I start my job all I want to do is take a nap. Of course we're to busy for me to grab a quick nap. I haven't figured out how to take a 30 second power nap. If only I could sleep with my eyes open like some other people I know. I think we should protest for a siesta each day. I read somewhere that naps help people to be healthier and live longer so let's get on the bandwagon.
Sincerely.
Sincerely.
The Stoic Librarian
Red Level and Rising
Can I kill my employees? That's not hypothetical. What is a quick an easy way? Poisoning or shotgun? Okay I want to kill this sales person instead now, switching target, but still want to kill my employees. They are getting on my LAST nerve! With this supposed 'Friend', I'm about to give them a taste of my silent wrath. I'm good at stealth, give me three minutes and everything will be over. If I can hack the US mainframe, I think I can do this. *evil genius grin*
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| Have a nice day! |
Check this out HERE.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
We HEAR you
When you come in a library, what do you always remember a librarian doing?
Saying, "Shhhh."
That is still true today. It's extremely annoying when someone comes into the library and is pretty much yelling. Common curtsy people! And the worst part is when the patron won't be quiet. How many times have I had to tell a patron to step outside to talk on the phone, to shut up? Oh, I don't know a MILLION! What's also hilarious is how a lot of people think we are deaf, sorry not true.
We scare people with our good ears. We might be completely across the library, but we can hear you when you are whispering into the phone (when your not supposed to be on the phone!), and we can hear your friend talking back to you on the other end. So don't call us something behind our back (We might be liable of throwing you out of the library.)
So two warnings to you out there:
1.) Speak softly, we aren't deaf, and people don't need to hear about your toenail fungus.
2.) Don't think we don't hear you when you talk bad about us. (We make exceptional spies.)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Saying, "Shhhh."
That is still true today. It's extremely annoying when someone comes into the library and is pretty much yelling. Common curtsy people! And the worst part is when the patron won't be quiet. How many times have I had to tell a patron to step outside to talk on the phone, to shut up? Oh, I don't know a MILLION! What's also hilarious is how a lot of people think we are deaf, sorry not true.
We scare people with our good ears. We might be completely across the library, but we can hear you when you are whispering into the phone (when your not supposed to be on the phone!), and we can hear your friend talking back to you on the other end. So don't call us something behind our back (We might be liable of throwing you out of the library.)
So two warnings to you out there:
1.) Speak softly, we aren't deaf, and people don't need to hear about your toenail fungus.
2.) Don't think we don't hear you when you talk bad about us. (We make exceptional spies.)
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
He Became a Texan Overnight
When this guy came in here and saw the Librarian, he was struck. He just wanted to get in any way he could. He wanted a membership, but he didn't have a Texas ID, so in he walks the next day with a printout out from "Marlin's Finest", presented it to me and stated that he is now officially a Texan -- all the while looking in the Librarian's office! What a guy. Now, I'm thinking about asking for some type of pin, medal, ribbon or something to give him for being the best volunteer we ever had. There's just no stopping this guy 'cause once he decides he wants something, he goes after it! (Librarian, BEWARE!!!) He's now a Texan, ain't he?
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Sincerely,
FOL (Friends of the Library)
For a couple of months now, we have been trying to encourage patrons to join our Friends of the Library Club. Now I am desperate! I plan to make a more diligent effort in convincing patrons that this is a good thing. I say this because of a most embarrassing situation involving one of our patrons who made such a big deal over a 20 cents fine. This lady began her day by calling us that morning. She blasted us real good, too. (We survived this episode pretty well.) But, hold on: Here I am sitting at my desk when I feel this big gust of "hot" air bringing with it this giant of a woman ranting about that 20 cents again! What the heck?!!! I was so done with her that I told her that I would just waive her fine or pay it myself , but she wouldn't have it. She paid the fine then told me to pass the word that she would not be coming to our fine establishment ever again. (I say she looked better going than coming anyhow!) So my mission now is to make sure that I get the word out: Please join our FOL Club; you can get fines waived, even get out of jail free.
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Sincerely,
We Aren't Archives
It seems all of my assistants are having a hilarious time on this blog about this 'supposed' romantic crush this guy has on me. So I ain't talking about that! I already feel like I'm suffocating from all of them asking about what I'm going to do about it.
So what am I going to talk about? Hmmm.... I wonder. I know! Let's talk about something we call WEEDING. Yeah, that's right we have to actually pull books off the shelves and sell them. After a while books aren't checked out, and they sit there lonely on our shelves, (most often catching dust) so we, as diligent librarians, feel sorry and finally send these books off to much more deserving people.
It's a LLLLOOOONNNGGG arduous process that takes six months (for most) to get the whole collection. For large libraries, they have their whole staff do it, for small libraries they have volunteers and the FOL (Friends of the Library) help.
So what happens after the (relief of having the collection) weeding. We sell all the books. (Some go to dumps, sadly) But then of course there are those few patrons that ask just why we got rid of a certain book, well there's only one thing I can say. "We aren't archives."
It a sad day though having to get rid of books. (*crying*) But it's one thing a librarian has to do for the sake of the library.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
So what am I going to talk about? Hmmm.... I wonder. I know! Let's talk about something we call WEEDING. Yeah, that's right we have to actually pull books off the shelves and sell them. After a while books aren't checked out, and they sit there lonely on our shelves, (most often catching dust) so we, as diligent librarians, feel sorry and finally send these books off to much more deserving people.
It's a LLLLOOOONNNGGG arduous process that takes six months (for most) to get the whole collection. For large libraries, they have their whole staff do it, for small libraries they have volunteers and the FOL (Friends of the Library) help.
So what happens after the (relief of having the collection) weeding. We sell all the books. (Some go to dumps, sadly) But then of course there are those few patrons that ask just why we got rid of a certain book, well there's only one thing I can say. "We aren't archives."
It a sad day though having to get rid of books. (*crying*) But it's one thing a librarian has to do for the sake of the library.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
The Price of Love
So yesterday I told you about the BIG romance going on with our head librarian and boy has it paid dividends. Her new friend volunteered to work here today and it has been great. Friday is cleaning day and he stepped to the plate. He moped, dusted the tops of the shelves, opened some guys car who had locked his keys in it, and even cleaned out a trash can as he was gagging. Isn't love wonderful?! Now I sure hope this little romance is not fly by night cause I want to keep this guy around. He is by far the best volunteer we have ever had. What people won't do for love...
The Stoic Librarian
The Stoic Librarian
Romance Is In The Air
Our librarian is young and real cute and we have this new patron who is SO interested in her. It's so cute. He gets on the computer and then ask her for help with all this stuff. He stays all day. Now he's even become a volunteer to spend time here. Does it get better then that?! You know he will do a bang up job to impress her. Spring is in the air and love is not far behind. Oh to be young again.
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
Reaching Zen
We just finished putting the children's section back together again!!! Some little DEAR pulled more books off the shelves then we check out in a month. All the stuffed animals were scattered from one end to the other, the chairs were overturned. It was just a mess. Now all this happened while one parent was on the computer and forgot they had a child with them. I can just imagine what their house looks like and how much respect for things this child is learning. I love putting back books kids have read but I don't get paid enough to put up with this. If it were up to me kids under 6 would not be allowed in the children's section without a parent even though I don't think that would help. What kind of kids are we raising? And who cares? Let's start a movement to keep little kids out of our libraries unless they have parent's who have more maturity then the kids. O.k. now I'm closer to my Zen state again. Thanks for letting me rant!
Sincerely,
The Stoic Librarian
Sincerely,
Technology... huh?
Changing all around us, what do librarians do to keep up?
We write on blogs that's what! People think librarians are stern older women with buns pulls back too tight and gold rim glasses. Well, we are smarter then you think! People come in and don't ask us how to do things and end up crashing our computers, BELIEVE ME! I SEE ALL!!!
Of course they don't say they did it and just slink out of the library like nothing happened. But we know, and boy is it frustrating! Don't mess with us, we have been trained to hack our own computers!!! This blog is an example of our prowess, it's getting bigger and better!
So only two little pieces of advice for ya':
1.) Be nice to our computers.
2.) Don't think we don't see you...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
We write on blogs that's what! People think librarians are stern older women with buns pulls back too tight and gold rim glasses. Well, we are smarter then you think! People come in and don't ask us how to do things and end up crashing our computers, BELIEVE ME! I SEE ALL!!!
Of course they don't say they did it and just slink out of the library like nothing happened. But we know, and boy is it frustrating! Don't mess with us, we have been trained to hack our own computers!!! This blog is an example of our prowess, it's getting bigger and better!
So only two little pieces of advice for ya':
1.) Be nice to our computers.
2.) Don't think we don't see you...
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Do You Have This Book?
Uuuuuuhhhhh..... Let me think...
For a librarian we are always asked this question. (No duh we are in a building full of books.) But the funny thing is that half the time we don't have this book. (Though we like to think we do.) Most often to not we are looking for books that HAVEN'T EVEN COME OUT YET. Let me tell you that can be annoying.
But when we do get the books, oh we can't seem to get them processed fast enough for them. Let me tell you processing books isn't an easy task. If you only knew how long it takes us to type up everything on the imprint page. (It's that weird little page at the beginning of the book with all this weird looking writing on it that only we can read.) Then we have to bar-code, spine label, and laminate the book, or put celophane over the dust jacket, get it in our computers so that you can look it up from your home computers, make sure it's in proper so that WE the librarians can read it, is an eternity long.
So many times I'm putting a laminate over a book when a person looks over my shoulder and says, 'OOOHHH I've been dying to read that, can I have it when you're done?"
I just give them this wild eyed look that says, 'I'm not read it, I'm CREATING it!!!!'
But hey I understand, when a new book comes out that I've been dying to read, I'm usually grabbing before anyone else can. (Hey we read too, why do you think we work here.) A hilarious part about working with other librarians and I'm not kidding when I say we actually time each other to see who's faster.
It's another thing about a librarians day that you don't see.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
For a librarian we are always asked this question. (No duh we are in a building full of books.) But the funny thing is that half the time we don't have this book. (Though we like to think we do.) Most often to not we are looking for books that HAVEN'T EVEN COME OUT YET. Let me tell you that can be annoying.
But when we do get the books, oh we can't seem to get them processed fast enough for them. Let me tell you processing books isn't an easy task. If you only knew how long it takes us to type up everything on the imprint page. (It's that weird little page at the beginning of the book with all this weird looking writing on it that only we can read.) Then we have to bar-code, spine label, and laminate the book, or put celophane over the dust jacket, get it in our computers so that you can look it up from your home computers, make sure it's in proper so that WE the librarians can read it, is an eternity long.
So many times I'm putting a laminate over a book when a person looks over my shoulder and says, 'OOOHHH I've been dying to read that, can I have it when you're done?"
I just give them this wild eyed look that says, 'I'm not read it, I'm CREATING it!!!!'
But hey I understand, when a new book comes out that I've been dying to read, I'm usually grabbing before anyone else can. (Hey we read too, why do you think we work here.) A hilarious part about working with other librarians and I'm not kidding when I say we actually time each other to see who's faster.
It's another thing about a librarians day that you don't see.
Sincerely,
Unforgotten
Today is a different day for me. Instead of ranting about all those patrons that have no real interest in us as librarians. I want to speak about one man that came into our library when I first started working at this library, right around this time of the year. He was a tall man with a wiry old beard that went half way down his chest, glasses and a baseball cap. He always wore the same clothes and I knew he was homeless.
When someone homeless comes into our library, it gives each of us a moment to pause. This one man came in every day and sat to read the paper. Most often he would stay all day in the summer months, or when it was raining outside. Most evenings when I closed up, I would have to wake him where he had fallen asleep at the paper had fallen on the floor by his feet. He said it was like home away from him. For a long time I was afraid to approach him from all the stories I had heard, but I realized he was just as human as anyone one of us.
So I braved a chance and spoke to him while he was reading none other then Homers the Odysey and I was taken by surprise. He was one of the most facinating patrons I have ever met. And it blew me away when I found out he spoke Russian. He was a well read man and before long I learned he was waiting for his wife who was in Russia. She was trying to get her green card and he was always using our computers to communicate with her.
To my surprise I found out he was truly homeless, living in his car. But one day after several months of him not coming in. (Which surprisingly worried me) He came in with his wife and daughter, clean shaven and working. She and her daughter had finally gotten their green card and moved to the States. After that day I never saw them again, but learned they had moved out of state. It was one story that has always touched my heart or hearts.
As a librarian we share many stories with our patrons, be it the smallest child or the oldest elder. We watch children come in our doors grow up and marry, and older ones leave our shelves forever. Though we may just be shadows you happen to meet at your public library, we continually watch and smile happily as time passes and our family grows.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
When someone homeless comes into our library, it gives each of us a moment to pause. This one man came in every day and sat to read the paper. Most often he would stay all day in the summer months, or when it was raining outside. Most evenings when I closed up, I would have to wake him where he had fallen asleep at the paper had fallen on the floor by his feet. He said it was like home away from him. For a long time I was afraid to approach him from all the stories I had heard, but I realized he was just as human as anyone one of us.
So I braved a chance and spoke to him while he was reading none other then Homers the Odysey and I was taken by surprise. He was one of the most facinating patrons I have ever met. And it blew me away when I found out he spoke Russian. He was a well read man and before long I learned he was waiting for his wife who was in Russia. She was trying to get her green card and he was always using our computers to communicate with her.
To my surprise I found out he was truly homeless, living in his car. But one day after several months of him not coming in. (Which surprisingly worried me) He came in with his wife and daughter, clean shaven and working. She and her daughter had finally gotten their green card and moved to the States. After that day I never saw them again, but learned they had moved out of state. It was one story that has always touched my heart or hearts.
As a librarian we share many stories with our patrons, be it the smallest child or the oldest elder. We watch children come in our doors grow up and marry, and older ones leave our shelves forever. Though we may just be shadows you happen to meet at your public library, we continually watch and smile happily as time passes and our family grows.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
"I Love This Place", You Say
When you come into this fine establishment with your comments about how beautiful it is and how lucky we are to have added it to this community, I know now that some of you "speak with fork tongue" (as the Indians would say). Now I say this because I check the computer area after you leave and trash is left on the computers and the floor. I go outside after you've gone and find trash there. Oh, it's yours alright, because it's usually the ticket I print out for you. (Your names are on it!) We have provided trash cans all over the place for your convenience but somehow, after you've had your way with us "I Love This Place" is just a lot of ........
Sincerely,
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
My Favorite Part of the Job
Today was a great day! Not. Today was the day I work overdues. Where do I start. The people who swear they didn't check out the book ever. Somehow it just got on their card. Today I had one who said she never had been in the library. Now how would she have gotten a card if that was true besides I remember her from the other day because she has a weird name. Then there are those who just cuss you out for even calling them. Has it ever dawned on them someone else might like to read that book that has taken up residence in their home. Maybe even me. What I really like is the ones who just breeze in to check out more books (that they won't bring back) and get mad when you tell them they have to pay their fines first. Boy they love that. Now sometimes I forget to bring mine back on time also, but I just fess up and turn over the money. What ever happened to telling the truth and taking your punishment. At least my favorite part of the job is over for another week. Sometimes you have to look for the little things to brighten the day other times they're just hard to find..
The Stoic Librarian
The Student
This is a story beyond stories for librarians and libraries alike. Times are hard, and that's especially true to libraries. Not even two months ago the governor of New Jersey cut funding in half for libraries, and almost eighty libraries in New Jersey had to close their doors. Its just as true anywhere as there.
So why do I bring that up, well I bring it up because the as we are librarians, we are always trying to find ways to save you time and money and give you an education. For example I provided computer classes to those who would like to take it. Free mind you.
What happens when the day of the class comes, after I call all of the patrons interested TWICE? Only one person shows up. To that one person I must commend you, thank you! You have proven yourself worthy of taking this class. As for the rest of you, you have just wasted valuable time and resources that are already in a pinch for us. You make me angry, Mad Dog angry... Don't mess with me like that.
If you can't come to the class call the library, it saves us a lot. We have spend many hours providing these classes free to you. By snubbing us, you are leading us to the dark side of the force, meaning lost funds that could be spent on books, or any number of things. And I'm sad for the one student that did come, because without those that didn't come I couldn't have the class. They had to give of their time to come and couldn't even have the class!!!
So please be considerate come to these classes the librarians have lovingly provided. Who knows it might be worth your while!
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing Exhausted Librarian.
So why do I bring that up, well I bring it up because the as we are librarians, we are always trying to find ways to save you time and money and give you an education. For example I provided computer classes to those who would like to take it. Free mind you.
What happens when the day of the class comes, after I call all of the patrons interested TWICE? Only one person shows up. To that one person I must commend you, thank you! You have proven yourself worthy of taking this class. As for the rest of you, you have just wasted valuable time and resources that are already in a pinch for us. You make me angry, Mad Dog angry... Don't mess with me like that.
If you can't come to the class call the library, it saves us a lot. We have spend many hours providing these classes free to you. By snubbing us, you are leading us to the dark side of the force, meaning lost funds that could be spent on books, or any number of things. And I'm sad for the one student that did come, because without those that didn't come I couldn't have the class. They had to give of their time to come and couldn't even have the class!!!
So please be considerate come to these classes the librarians have lovingly provided. Who knows it might be worth your while!
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing Exhausted Librarian.
I Read Minds At The Library
Oh, if only I could read minds. Patrons think I can or expect me too anyway. They come to the front desk and just stand there so I look at them and say "may I help you." Still they just look at me. It really ticks me off. Finally they will say "I want a computer." Now do they expect me to just give them one or do they want to use one of our public computers. Beats me but I take a chance and check them out a computer. Never please or thank you crosses their lips. I really don't get paid enough for this job. Wish I could teach a manners class but I'm sure no one would sign up to come. Besides I'd never get paid extra to teach it. Thank goodness I love my jobs and the books!!!!!
The Stoic Librarian
Library, How May I Help You?
Patron: 'Is this the library?"
Me: "Huh.... yes."
Awe the usual response I get from almost every person that calls the library. Sometimes I want to tell the patrons... NO DUH!!! Who were you calling, Grant Central Station? But alas no I can't.
Me: "How can I help you?"
Patron: "Oh I just wanted to make sure this was the library."
*slapping forehead*
So you called to find out if it was the library, WHEN I HAD JUST TOLD YOU?!? TWICE!!!! So there you go, if you do decide to call the library, please follow these three simple steps.
1.) Check the phonebook.
2.) Double check the number before calling.
3.) MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A LIGET QUESTION?!?!
So please be considerate, we are here to help, but we don't want to waste time better spent helping someone else. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Me: "Huh.... yes."
Awe the usual response I get from almost every person that calls the library. Sometimes I want to tell the patrons... NO DUH!!! Who were you calling, Grant Central Station? But alas no I can't.
Me: "How can I help you?"
Patron: "Oh I just wanted to make sure this was the library."
*slapping forehead*
So you called to find out if it was the library, WHEN I HAD JUST TOLD YOU?!? TWICE!!!! So there you go, if you do decide to call the library, please follow these three simple steps.
1.) Check the phonebook.
2.) Double check the number before calling.
3.) MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A LIGET QUESTION?!?!
So please be considerate, we are here to help, but we don't want to waste time better spent helping someone else. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Quiet Please
One by one, almost every single day, they come into the library talking loud. "Sssh", I say. Then they proceed to the computer area when other patrons are hard at work doing something or another and these talkers go back there where they are and start talking, it seems, even louder. Now, their cell phones start to go off--right after they've read the sign!
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Sincerely,
Grants Anyone?
Okay, lets go behind the scenes of the librarians that seem to sit there reading. (Not really, more like researching how to deal with the ever eccentric public and their demands.) There are grants to be written, reviewed, rewritten, chewed up, and rewritten and reviewed again.
To give you an idea of what this means for a librarian is constant nausea because we are crossing or fingers and toes hoping and praying a grant is rewarded. And why is that might I ask, well for all intensive purposes... TO KEEP THE LIBRARY AND MY JOB SAFE AND OPEN!!!
Not just that but just imagine how many grants ONE librarian can do in a month... uhh... let me think. SIX at ONE time. So just imagine accidently messing one up, oh yeah, really hard stuff here.
So when you go into a library and start complaining about their not having something, remember we are trying our best to get you want you want.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
To give you an idea of what this means for a librarian is constant nausea because we are crossing or fingers and toes hoping and praying a grant is rewarded. And why is that might I ask, well for all intensive purposes... TO KEEP THE LIBRARY AND MY JOB SAFE AND OPEN!!!
Not just that but just imagine how many grants ONE librarian can do in a month... uhh... let me think. SIX at ONE time. So just imagine accidently messing one up, oh yeah, really hard stuff here.
So when you go into a library and start complaining about their not having something, remember we are trying our best to get you want you want.
Sincerely,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Wouldn't You Think People Who Come To The Library Could Read
Why do they come if they can't read? Beats Me, but evidently they can't. We have signs all over the library that cell phones must be turned off. Yet several times a day someones phone goes off. Phones don't just ring anymore either. They play music or make all kinds of annoying sounds.
Today I had some guys who rang twice. He didn't even get it after I told him to turn it off the first time. So he not only could not read but he couldn't hear either. What is a poor overworked librarian suppose to do?
Sincerely,
Stoic Librarian
Today I had some guys who rang twice. He didn't even get it after I told him to turn it off the first time. So he not only could not read but he couldn't hear either. What is a poor overworked librarian suppose to do?
Sincerely,
Stoic Librarian
What About Gripers?
I'm at work okay. Now here comes this patron: Something's wrong with the way the crickets have chosen our entryway to die. So what?. We try, but we don't decide where they die. Then there's the part about the trash on our drive. Pick it up already! Now once you're in the door, it starts up again-- The problem this time is the spelling of your name (or rather the pronunciation) which is your family's fault, not mine. Don't bring your problems here; leave'em at home. I let you use the library's computers but you want to make them your very own by monopolizing the computer time. Now who is nicer me or you?
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Sincerely,
The Fun Crafter
Where Are The Parents
How is it that parents come in with their little kids but then they forget who they belong to? They run around and cause havoc and the parents never seem to notice. They put their stinky little fingers all over the glass doors, pull books off the shelves, slobbers on the stuffed animals. While Mom or Dad never even seems to notice. If only I could just hand them a bottle of Windex and say, 'GO AT IT!!!!!!'
Sincerely
Sincerely
The Stoic Librarian
A Stinky Patron
Okay, let's talk about the every once and a while a stinky patron. I don't know about you, but librarians are still human, meaning... we are still smell things people. So let's talk about those stinky -> people that waft through the library doors every know and again. I don't know about you but when you are at the front desk servicing the patron you. can't. go. anywhere.
You're dying at the front desk, trying not to breath in the strange little BO that seems to come off the patron in boat loads and seem to linger. I can understand some patrons have work and come in after, but come on it doesn't take two minutes to get in the shower and soap up.
So what does a librarian do to endure the torture of the stickiness. QUICKLY CHECK OUT THE PATRON!!!! PLEASE BEFORE I DIE OF OB!!!!
If only we could grab the Frebreeze and spray them down. Unfortunately no, so we have to smile (brittle little smile that it is) and say 'Do you want a computer or are you checking out a book?'
So whenever you come in a library, please be nice and take a spritz to your person before you come up to the front desk.
Thank you,
You're dying at the front desk, trying not to breath in the strange little BO that seems to come off the patron in boat loads and seem to linger. I can understand some patrons have work and come in after, but come on it doesn't take two minutes to get in the shower and soap up.
So what does a librarian do to endure the torture of the stickiness. QUICKLY CHECK OUT THE PATRON!!!! PLEASE BEFORE I DIE OF OB!!!!
If only we could grab the Frebreeze and spray them down. Unfortunately no, so we have to smile (brittle little smile that it is) and say 'Do you want a computer or are you checking out a book?'
So whenever you come in a library, please be nice and take a spritz to your person before you come up to the front desk.
Thank you,
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
Librarians and Where We Are Headed
Hola Bloggers,
So the lives of a librarian are on a lot of peoples mind with the new book 'Quite Please' and 'This book is overdue as seen below. Both of which I'm very proud to say are close to the truth.
Let the librarians ban together. That's one thing we can say as librarians is that we are very good at sticking together. LOL. Sand thing is we are always looking for new young blood. BWHAHAHAHA!!!
Teenagers of this age are a must for libraries and we are happy to have some. The gab between technology and the old brick and mortar buildings is widening and librarians as unexpected as it might sound is in fact bridging the gap as we speak!
So without further ado, I am establishing this blog to librarians and libraries alike. Let's rant and rave about our patrons, or volunteers and our staff. It's about time the word got out we aren't the stereotypical!
This blog will be maintained by three separate librarians and assistant librarians kept anonymous so as not to get yelled at by patrons and the like.
Myself: The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
My Assistant: The Stoic Librarian
And my other Assistant: The Fun Crafter
So let us being!!!!!
So the lives of a librarian are on a lot of peoples mind with the new book 'Quite Please' and 'This book is overdue as seen below. Both of which I'm very proud to say are close to the truth.
Let the librarians ban together. That's one thing we can say as librarians is that we are very good at sticking together. LOL. Sand thing is we are always looking for new young blood. BWHAHAHAHA!!!
Teenagers of this age are a must for libraries and we are happy to have some. The gab between technology and the old brick and mortar buildings is widening and librarians as unexpected as it might sound is in fact bridging the gap as we speak!
So without further ado, I am establishing this blog to librarians and libraries alike. Let's rant and rave about our patrons, or volunteers and our staff. It's about time the word got out we aren't the stereotypical!
This blog will be maintained by three separate librarians and assistant librarians kept anonymous so as not to get yelled at by patrons and the like.
Myself: The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian
My Assistant: The Stoic Librarian
And my other Assistant: The Fun Crafter
So let us being!!!!!
About Us
This site is for librarians, and libraries alike. If you are a patron and don't like it, then don't comment. If you comment about anything you don't like, and/or 'threaten' us, we will be more then happy to 'DELETE' your comment. As of anything else, we would be happy to put on our blog.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you don't like our blog, then STOP COMING!!! That is all. Now as for the librarians that inhabit this little bit of a blog, we are happy to get things off our chest, let me tell you. We work in an environment that most people take for granted and we are more then welcomed to enlighten you on the need to rant and rave about whatever we so choose.
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian:
Is a self proclaimed geek and all around book obsessor.
The Stoic Librarian:
Is an enjoyer of books and gets paid for it too.
The Fun Crafter:
Is the all around good girl.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you don't like our blog, then STOP COMING!!! That is all. Now as for the librarians that inhabit this little bit of a blog, we are happy to get things off our chest, let me tell you. We work in an environment that most people take for granted and we are more then welcomed to enlighten you on the need to rant and rave about whatever we so choose.
The Egg Wolfing, Exhausted Librarian:
Is a self proclaimed geek and all around book obsessor.
The Stoic Librarian:
Is an enjoyer of books and gets paid for it too.
The Fun Crafter:
Is the all around good girl.
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